sk0t.com

Strange

December 19th is coming upon me quite fast. (That is my sentencing date, for all of you who didn't know). It is really amusing to me to see all of my so-called 'friends' not really give a damn that in what maybe less than a month, I could very well be in prison. I guess I can finally validate all my claims about my friends not really being my friends. It is kind of bittersweet though when I think about it... but unchanging nonetheless. I guess it will be a good chance to start over once I return from my period of incarceration. Because as of now, (which I know I have said this before), I just don't give a damn. If my 'friends' don't want to call me, or talk to me, or feel that they need to include me in their everyday happenings... then so be it.

This goes out to all of you who fit into this category above.... and it is basically everyone who reads this site...

don't bother.

// sk0t @ 3:27 AM :: Comments [2] :: Digg This ::

2006/11/23
Thanksgiving

People I know would never consider me to be a philanthropist. And being the holiday of giving thanks I would it would be appropriate to be thankful.... thankful for being the cynical misanthrope that I am today. It is situations like my current one that shows me the inhumanity of mankind. The fact that I am a mocker of the current state of human evolution doesn't make me a bad person. My obvious hatred for the thoughts of seeming goodness in people allows me a certain charismatic pleasure in the fact that no matter who I am, I know that people will always cheat, steal, and lie, to get what they want... selfishness is not a character flaw, it is a natural inevitability. We aren't destined to do great things, the people who do that slip through the cracks in the design. We are all meant to be mediocre at best... the design for human advancement isn't that of innovation and brilliance... it is that of selfish indignity.

To get to the heart of my post... I am thankful for the ability to know that no matter who I become, and no matter what people think of me... behind the scenes there are far worse creatures than I. For the fears of mediocrity will make even the noblest of men fall.

// sk0t @ 1:27 AM :: Comments [0] :: Digg This ::

2006/11/17
San Diego

Well, this is the end of my fourthday day in California... and in four days, I have been to Los Angeles, I have been stuck in Hollywood overnight, and I have been in the audience of Jimmy Kimmel Live. It has been a great couple days, and in the upcoming days, I will be in Las Vegas and also Mexico (if the timing is right)... so everything is working out to my advantage while I am here. I havent spent a whole ton of money either... so it is working out quite well.

It is in the mid- to upper- 70s here, and quite warm. There also hasn't been a cloud in the sky... not one. Blue as a smurf... it is so nice.

Also, the time out here has been good.
When someone goes across the country it gives them the opportunity to evaluate what is really important in your life... and I think that when I get back, things are going to be a little different on a personal level.

Anyways, I will be returning on Tuesday the 21st. So hit me up then. PEACE.

// sk0t @ 10:58 PM :: Comments [3] :: Digg This ::

2006/11/14
Trip

Well, in approx. 12 hours, I will be on a plane headed towards San Diego. I am taking a little trip with one of my friends to visit another friend. It is funny how things work... I would have never thought I would have gotten to opportunity to visit Ben until my world turned upside down.

Anyways, it is late, and I have some more TV to watch before I sleep for a few hours and then it is on my way to Pittsburgh and the wait for the first of a few flights tomorrow.

I will post once or twice while I am away.

Take care everyone.

// sk0t @ 1:17 AM :: Comments [0] :: Digg This ::

2006/11/12
Around for another year...

Well, as of 12:28 this morning, sk0t.com has been renewed for another year. Please hold your applause. I know that I won't be around to update the site... but it is nice to know that atleast sk0t.com won't follow my soul on its way to hell.

// sk0t @ 3:06 AM :: Comments [0] :: Digg This ::

2006/11/09
*NEW*

I have implemented a Flash Music Player located HERE. You should check it out. It has music that I have been listening too, and you might enjoy yourself.

// sk0t @ 4:09 AM :: Comments [3] :: Digg This ::

So It Seems...

You know, there was a time in my life when the world couldn't stop me. I was driven, motivated, and full of joy and excitement... it seems now that my cynicism is getting the best of me. You don't know the struggles the position I am in gives me. I am 24 years old, I have should have countless young adult things to occupy my thoughts, instead I have things that no one should ever have to consider plaguing my thoughts... my world consists of a few things that don't change. I have Jeni and Kailyn, and they keep me grounded, and have both saved me from myself. I used to use my martial arts training as an escape from the world that surrounds me... but since that was taken from me, I have had to focus on other things to fill that void... it seems that my choice in activities is what lead me to the place that I am in right now... it is funny how cause and effect works... the world I live in isn't bright shining as the sun... it is dark and cloudy... full of inequities and fallen hopes... shattered dreams and a future of nightmares... most people can't comprehend what they haven't experienced... some may be empathetic enough to feel my pain, but no one knows who I truly am anymore... I have overcome a lot, and have done it with class...

Personal quote: "You won't feel pain, if no one can get close enough to hurt you."

[Listening to: AFI - Prelude 12/21 - WinAmp]

// sk0t @ 3:29 AM :: Comments [2] :: Digg This ::

2006/11/05
Saturday Night

It is the first Saturday in a long time that I have sat around and done just about nothing during the last night to early morning hours... mainly the reason is the lack of events happening (whether they aren't happening, or I wasn't invited, is irrelevant). It is nice to just sit around... and spend some quality time with some people I feel my current situation leads me to neglect.

I guess my innate cynicism will lead me to conclude that the events of this evening were out of my control... and my need for control will preclude me from resolving my obvious character and mental flaws... but aside from all of this I am finally at peace, which might seem like total blind ignorance on my part for being somewhat less cynical of things outside of my control... but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what I do... and it is obvious that it doesn't matter who I do it with...

More to come on this later...

// sk0t @ 1:26 AM :: Comments [0] :: Digg This ::

2006/11/03
Me

I used to think that having a superpower would be great... like it would be the greatest thing in the world... being able to do something that not everyone could do... being able to be someone that everybody is not... lately, within the people that I care about and the people who care about me, I realized that being invisible is not all I thought it would be. My life kind of in a perplexing spot right now... there is no proverbial 'fork' in the road... there is not even a road. I know who I am, I know where I am going... but the thing that makes it all worse... is that the people I know, and the people that know me... don't seem to see me... they don't seem to even care. Now there are always exceptions to the cause, but for the most part... I am invisible. Normally, when someone needs something, I am there. When they need help I am there... I am just wondering what I should have expected in my time of need... time? talk? help? It seems that to the people I always listened to, and gave my advice too, I have disappeared... You all know the struggles that I deal with in my disappointing endeavors...

I have had enough... of being lied too... being last... and most importantly being forgotten... will you remember me when I am gone... that I don't know... but you should ask yourself if it will matter ... after I'm gone...

I might not show how I feel to the world, because the world doesn't care... but I thought you would.

// sk0t @ 1:51 AM :: Comments [2] :: Digg This ::

2006/11/01
Perplexing...

Question TO ALL:
If someone were to ask you to attend an event one month prior to the actual event, and you were to tell them; "Lets do it." or "Sure I will go". And as the event rolls up, creeping on you as time does, and being that time likes to play tricks on people, you (for just one example) forget [maybe you have an incredible amount of other things on your mind]. Would you expect another call from one of your friends about the event as a reminder?

Simple as that... would you expect one of your friends to call and remind you or ask you again? (Dont read into it, just give me your honest answer).

// sk0t @ 2:40 AM :: Comments [3] :: Digg This ::